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Animal the Savage
An Interview With a Bear
Here at Believe It, we have just uncovered another disturbing Muppet related story. After reading our sickening article on slave master, Jim Henson's treatment of Rawlf the Dog, Fozzie the Bear has come forward to give us an interview regarding the beloved character, "Animal". The following is his story.
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"Animal was treated like crap..."
Believe It (BI): Thank you for the chance at the interview Fozzie.
Fozzie: I'm just glad to get this all off my chest. You realize of course that I'm doing this at great risk to my life.
BI: Well then we'll try to keep it brief. Now, you mentioned to us that you wanted to come forward with some disturbing information regarding Animal, one of the craziest characters on the Muppet movies.
Fozzie: Well, there is a reason why he acted so crazy. The truth is...you have to understand, this is the first time this has ever been told *long pause* he was mentally handicapped. *short pause* You looked stunned....well, there's more. Animal was a retard and he was treated like crap for it! Jim Henson hated him for how he was! But it wasn't his fault. I...I...I can't continue right now!!
***After the above comments, Fozzie the Bear ran out of the room in tears. Fifteen minutes later the interview resumed.***
Animal Abused
Fozzie: I'm really sorry about the way a acted earlier. I don't know what came over me.
BI: Whenever you're ready, you can continue your story.
Fozzie: Well, as I was saying, Mr. Henson hated Animal. He hated him more than any of us. He was mocked and spit on regularly by Mr. Henson himself. It was horrible.
BI: Can you tell us about one of those instances?
Fozzie: Well, once when we where filming the first movie, Mr. Henson didn't like the way Animal was acting. He said that Animal was trying to steal the sceen. But how could he? He had a bad brain! He didn't know what he was doing...but Henson didn't care! He came up to Animal and punched him in the face. Animal was shocked, I snapped the picture I gave you at this point(above). Animal lashed out and took a bite out of Henson's left arm, it was all he knew to do. Henson was ticked off, so he grabbed a metal pole and cracked poor Animal's ribs with it. Animal was tough though and he took the pain with grace. He took hold of Henson by the hair and pulled him close. What he did next we where all proud of...he bit Henson's right eye right out of his face! Henson dropped but was so insane with rage that he must not have felt the pain. He was bleeding everywhere but instead of getting help, he grabbed Animal and...he...broke his neck!! I was sick. I puked on the floor (which I was beat for).
BI: Obviously Animal recovered...
Fozzie: Yeah, it took a long time and that's why the movie was delayed. That's all I can tell you for now. I've risked too much as it is. I'm sorry, but I have to go now.
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